After spending 10 amazing days in Haiti my heart is overwhelmed, but not the same overwhelming feeling I had a month ago. I’m overwhelmed by what God has been teaching me the last few months and then seeing what He taught me in a real way and it’s beyond what I could ask or imagine. There are a few things I wouldn’t have been able to tell you a month ago. Like what it’s like to be the love of God to children.
I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what it’s like to know what it’s like to feel a thirst for God and have it quenched every single day, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what it’s like to be relaxed in the presence of God, and I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what it’s like to be filled with joy even at the end of the day when you’re tired.
I learned so much on this trip about things I already thought I knew about and I learned what it means to actually let go of control and to my surprise, it wasn’t that hard at all.
However, when we left for Port au Prince on Saturday I didn’t want to leave; I fell in love with Haiti, I was relaxed and not worried about a thing, and I was relying on God and not planning nor expecting anything and now back in the states it’s back to doing life in the states. But I’ve learned my lesson; you don’t have to everything planed out, you don’t have to know everything, and in order to go with the flow you must rely on God, if not, there’s no other way.
With a joy so indescribable and a God so good I was able to do a few things for the first time. Like flying, but go figure that was one. The most exciting firsts was being able to lead a devotion on Psalm 46 and it’s funny because I had other scriptures in mind, but God said to do Psalm 46 so I did.
My heart after this trip is in Haiti while my body is in the states and things are changing for now, not to mention I’m waiting to see what God has coming up for me, but for now it’s a matter of doing what I can everyday and leaving it to God. The challenge here is keeping in mind everything I’ve learned in Haiti and the biggest being trust God, relax in His presence, leave the details up to Him all you have to do work, everything goes better when you don’t worry, and be ready for God to do something unexplainable; because you never know when God is going to do totally something unexplainable like when you have anxiety before the flight to Port au Prince and it sets in your head to remind you to trust God and know that’s He’s gone before you.
But here’s something else important I want to tell you somethings about currently being a short term missionary especially after spending 10 days in a different country.
- Your heart will break. Literally you will feel the love of God come out in you and your heart will ache.
You will change and you will not want to go back to the way things were.
You will be tired, but at the same time filled with joy that being tired is irrelevant.
Going home is bitter-sweet. Being a short term missionary you never feel like you’ve done enough.
In the end you are able see how God teaches you stuff you thought you already knew. The best part is sharing with everyone when you get beck.
Finally I just want to say that I can’t wait to go back and see how God continues to change my life short term and long term.