A New Adventure After Walkabout

My nine month adventure called Walkabout is over. I spent nine months promoting and living Camp Eagle’s mission statement to inspire Christ-like change through outdoor adventure, Biblical truth and authentic relationships, but living under that mission statement the emphasis was highly placed on community and service. The past nine months I faced adventure into the unknown and embraced it through backpacking, exploring how to study the Bible, systematic theology and world views, and living with my peers, but now that it’s over how is that translated? In short, I am strong, I am equipped, but I’m still rejected, I’m still judged for being different and accused of being someone I am not by my peers. I’ve been called beautiful because I rock short hair and strong because I stand firm, but I’ve also been called a bully. I was often left unsupported by people around me as I desired to continue in camp ministry and taking the SAT. People got upset with me for rejecting someone’s friendship and me constantly defending myself. Who am I? at one point I thought I was being a narcissist who only cared about myself. I had to learn not to worry about what others think of me and that has becomes more freeing whenever I just let go. When my mom was here for graduation she was not happy with everything she saw about how others treated me as she noticed the ongoing rejection, the lack of the community they emphasize, and made a comment on how people could be intimidated by mehappy Jazz wasn’t there and said how she thinks I have the spiritual gift of discernment.
If I could sum up the drama from January to May it was mostly centered on my relationship with Jazz. I didn’t like Jazz because she felt phony and impersonal as she lied to me. There’s more of a story there not worth sharing online.
Also a big thing this last semester was people trying to say they cared for me and that’s why they did what they did, and in my mind I thought, “if this is what care looks like I want to see what neglect looks like.”
Little did I know that I would see that as time went on. I got an email some time ago about an internship I applied for in Florida and they were really interested to have me and even though people asked how my interview went, I never felt encouraged. Then last week was our Walkabout debrief trip when I got a call about a day camp counselor job up in Seattle and it felt like a few people were really excited and happy for me. Mind you they were not leaders, nor people who boasted about how they cared for me… that says more to me than it should.
Now that Walkabout is over I don’t have to worry about that kind of negativity because I’m going to Seattle! God was really faithful to provide this job and the travel money even with all the lies surrounding me and I’m excited to begin this new chapter of following my dreams.

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