Category Archives: Haiti

Lfe After Haiti Pt.2

After leaving Haiti last week and though this week being back in the states I thought I was adjusting back quickly and that it was easy, but I thought wrong once again. Since I’ve come back I’ve experienced some small changes, but with out a doubt bigger ones to come too, and I’ve realized I’m never going back to the way things were. What probably bugged me the first few days was realizing I had way to much clothes; I might be a girl, yes, but after living 10 days in Haiti out of a carry-on backpack go figure that hits you first thing; so now I have a bag of clothes to give away, second is hoping something has changed about your family. Reality check: I was gone 10 days, not 10 months. Unfortunately not much has changed around here, but whose to say I can’t do anything about it? even though some parts of me are still the same, but hopefully changing soon; I don’t know. Honestly though life after Haiti is not something I am enjoying enthusiastically at all. . . I miss Haiti like crazy and I want to go back, but I can’t. The one thing about Haiti; there’s so much to appreciate there, and it’s not just that feeling of your heart melting, breaking, and when you leave that sudden feeling that you just left most of your heart in Haiti —if not all of it.–                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           The kids in Haiti are amazing though. . . I miss the energy these kids brought to P.E, the gratitude for the simplest things we take for granite, and the way they love. They’ll high-five you, hug you, sit on your lap, and take a picture with you.

You saw what learned on my last post here, but to me it was humbling to actually see everything God has taught me come alive in a real way. Especially when I didn’t feel any worry, but rather being relaxed in the presence of God. It took me long enough to get in that place, but I got in that place and I want to stay there now that things in my life are changing to the point where I have to realize only God is going to get me though this. I should’ve known this before, but the pathetic and prideful human thought she could do it on her own.

Even though I’d rather be in Haiti doing English Camp, I have to admit I’m thankful to know that so far no one on our team got Chikungunya, but I’m also thankful for the friendships made and strengthened in Haiti. I hope to go back next year, but who knows what God has in store got in store for me? Not me. I know what else I want to do, but what doors will God open up and what ones will He close.

Life after Haiti pt. 2 in short: Being back in the states after Haiti has opened my eyes to some pretty awesome things, but also has led my heart closer to God. I look back on this trip trying to find a way to teach my family what I’ve learned, but as life changing as it was, I’m not regretting going. I may still wonder why God called me to go even after the trip, but I know He was glorified and nothing was about me as serving Him was seen in a different way. I’ve realized when you’re in a place so low, you’re actually in a place so high and coming back after all you’ve seen, there’s no way of imagining yourself ever being the same. When God tells you to do something you do it and I loved seeing Him work though my obedience and hope I can continue to follow Him.

God’s still on the move, doing something greater than I can ask, or imagine, He’s the unexplainable in my life in every unknown, He’s the Lord of my life and I will wait for Him as this new chapter of my life is upon me.

 

One last thing, if you ever have the chance to go to Haiti, I encourage you to go. Haiti is amazing and you will meet with God in ways so unexplainable and have stories to share to everyone you meet. God dose crazy things, but know crazy is good and yes, even in life when your so caught up spinning and you just need to be still and know that He is God.

 

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Life After Haiti

Some of the boys in Haiti. Except Cole on the far left.

After spending 10 amazing days in Haiti my heart is overwhelmed, but not the same overwhelming feeling I had a month ago. I’m overwhelmed by what God has been teaching me the last few months and then seeing what He taught me in a real way and it’s beyond what I could ask or imagine. There are a few things I wouldn’t have been able to tell you a month ago. Like what it’s like to be the love of God to children.

 

Some of the girls in Haiti.

I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what it’s like to know what it’s like to feel a thirst for God and have it quenched every single day, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what it’s like to be relaxed in the presence of God, and I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what it’s like to be filled with joy even at the end of the day when you’re tired.

 

I learned so much on this trip about things I already thought I knew about and I learned what it means to actually let go of control and to my surprise, it wasn’t that hard at all.
However, when we left for Port au Prince on Saturday I didn’t want to leave; I fell in love with Haiti, I was relaxed and not worried about a thing, and I was relying on God and not planning nor expecting anything and now back in the states it’s back to doing life in the states. But I’ve learned my lesson; you don’t have to everything planed out, you don’t have to know everything, and in order to go with the flow you must rely on God, if not, there’s no other way.

With a joy so indescribable and a God so good I was able to do a few things for the first time. Like flying, but go figure that was one. The most exciting firsts was being able to lead a devotion on Psalm 46 and it’s funny because I had other scriptures in mind, but God said to do Psalm 46 so I did.

My heart after this trip is in Haiti while my body is in the states and things are changing for now, not to mention I’m waiting to see what God has coming up for me, but for now it’s a matter of doing what I can everyday and leaving it to God. The challenge here is keeping in mind everything I’ve learned in Haiti and the biggest being trust God, relax in His presence, leave the details up to Him all you have to do work, everything goes better when you don’t worry, and be ready for God to do something unexplainable; because you never know when God is going to do totally something unexplainable like when you have anxiety before the flight to Port au Prince and it sets in your head to remind you to trust God and know that’s He’s gone before you.

But here’s something else important I want to tell you somethings about currently being a short term missionary especially after spending 10 days in a different country.

  1. Your heart will break. Literally you will feel the love of God come out in you and your heart will ache.

  2. You will change and you will not want to go back to the way things were.

  3. You will be tired, but at the same time filled with joy that being tired is irrelevant.

  4. Going home is bitter-sweet. Being a short term missionary you never feel like you’ve done enough.

  5. In the end you are able see how God teaches you stuff you thought you already knew. The best part is sharing with everyone when you get beck.

Finally I just want to say that I can’t wait to go back and see how God continues to change my life short term and long term.